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The Lover Archetype

~ Dhanashree Padave, Sanjana Ramani, Deepa Soman

The Lover is the first archetype of the mature masculine. The Lover is the archetype of youthful idealism and excitement and is usually the first archetype to develop in a man. The word “lover” evokes images of romance and sex. There are many dimensions to the Lover – love for family, for friends, for God, and for life itself, and the Lover archetype passionately seeks them all.

The core desire is to be intimate and experience touch/ sexual pleasure. People with a dominant Lover archetype give priority to the people they love. Their motto is “you’re the only one”. The goal here is to be in a relationship with the people, work and surroundings they love and create tactile experiences by becoming more and more physically and emotionally attractive.

The Lover is the archetype of emotion, feeling, idealism, and sensuality. Being sensual means opening up and using all of your senses in all areas of your life – touching, tasting, smelling, hearing, and seeing, experiencing as many dimensions of life as possible, as often as possible. This archetype is motivated to attract, give, receive and nurture life – affirming, intimate love. They also support the development of gender identity.

Thus, when a man taps into the Lover archetype’s energy, he feels alive with vim and vigor and connected to the world and those around him. A man in touch with the Lover archetype feels deeply, whether those feelings are of joy or pain.

A Lover is empathetic with others and understands how to get along and connect with a wide variety of people. He/she is often adept at reading people and social cues. They enjoy all of life’s pleasures whether it be good food and drink, beautiful art, or gorgeous women. This is the archetype that spurs our appetites. But these hungers aren’t just for “baser” pleasures like sex and food, but for a life of meaning and purpose.

People in the Lover archetype are looking for new and exciting endeavors. They develop intense romantic and sexual relationships, and are often filled with youthful idealism. Their experiences are marked by an acute intensity. However, they have a weakness which arises due to their fear of not been loved. In order to please others, they tend to risk their own identity.

Each archetype has both, a pinnacle which represents the fullness of the archetype, and a bi-polar shadow split. The shadows are the result of the archetype not being integrated into a man in a healthy and coherent way. The two shadows of the Lover archetype are the Addicted Lover and the Impotent Lover.

If the other archetypes do not harness the Lover’s energy, the Addicted Lover shadow can result. A man possessed by the Addicted Lover is, as Moore puts it, “eternally restless”. He is forever searching for that one thing, person, or experience that will make him feel truly alive. The flip side of the shadow is the man who takes all of the Lover’s energy and focuses it on one thing. He can become so obsessed with the objects of his desire that instead of bringing joym they bring destruction and ruin. Perhaps you know a man who become so involved in a vice, a project, or even a hobby that it ruined him financially and destroyed his relationships.

The Impotent Lover shadow arises when a man is out of touch with the Lover archetype in its fullness. While the Lover in his/ her fullness sees the world in vivid colors and textures, the Impotent Lover only sees grey. People dogged by the Impotent Lover archetype feel depressed, flat, and dead inside. Nothing brings them joy anymore, as they lose their passion for life. Libido and a sex-life may be non-existent.

Taking part in a hobby one is passionate about, reading, immersing in literature and writings on a variety of subjects to stimulate the brain, seeking knowledge, spending time outdoors like hiking or camping, are ways of seeking to be in the Lover archetype. This archetype inspires a whole genre of romance novels.

As with any archetype, there are three levels of the Lover:

Level 1: seeking great sex or a great romance

Level 2: following your bliss and committing to whom and what you love

Level 3: spiritual love, self-acceptance, and the experience of ecstasy


Words associated the Lover are: attractive, sensualist, playful, passionate, romantic, loving, alive, social, indulgent, compassionate and intimate.

The Lover archetype is personified by the following industries: perfume, cosmetics, indulgence food, wine, fashion, and travel.

Examples: Chanel, Godiva, Victoria’s secret, Engage Deo, Tanishq, etc.






Personalities of this archetype are: Greek goddess Aphrodite, Marilyn Monroe, Casanova, Don Juan, Krishna and the Bhakti saints of India.


  • The Lover Archetype Of Masculinity

Brett – https://www.artofmanliness.com/2011/10/04/the-four-archetypes-of-the-mature-masculine-the-lover/

–       Archetypes: Lover

Ariel Hudnall – https://arielhudnall.com/2015/05/25/archetypes-lover/

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